I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
