imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
