you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
