I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize