i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
