He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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