anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
