can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
