He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
