Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
