you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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