hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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