is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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