I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
