The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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