Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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