You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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