Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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