I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
