How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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