I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
