I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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