He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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