Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
