I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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