Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
