You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
