is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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