with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
