I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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