I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
