walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
