there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
