I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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