I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
