with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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