stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
