I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
