Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
