I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
