dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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