I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
