the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
