the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
