whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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