Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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