I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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