btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
