This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
