that's an acceptable place to lick
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
