the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up