i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.