Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.

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(704): I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless. http://tfl.nu/pksh

Replies (14) Good night (790) Bad night (1453)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Shittttttt.

(734): View more from Michigan

Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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(734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy. (1-734): Shittttttt. (734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy. http://tfl.nu/htfb

Replies (33) Good night (10046) Bad night (972)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better

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(918): i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better http://tfl.nu/xhei

Replies (9) Good night (2888) Bad night (641)
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(925): View more from California

GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.

(1-925): View more from California

Wtf it's a Friday night?

(925): View more from California

PRIORITIZE.

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(925): GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007. (1-925): Wtf it's a Friday night? (925): PRIORITIZE. http://tfl.nu/9mpa

Replies (20) Good night (1785) Bad night (3137)
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(812): View more from Indiana

McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

All of them

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(812): McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want? (1-812): All of them http://tfl.nu/mhdi

Replies (42) Good night (10045) Bad night (908)
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(303): View more from Colorado

its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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(303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp

Replies (12) Good night (2956) Bad night (1375)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

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(219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k

Replies (4) Good night (1785) Bad night (793)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Threesome in a minivan. New low

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(907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy

Replies (15) Good night (1881) Bad night (1047)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...

(719): View more from Colorado

LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..

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(815): Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old... (719): LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though.. http://tfl.nu/fsbn

Replies (11) Good night (4011) Bad night (887)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."

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(270): how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards." http://tfl.nu/tgkg

Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (700)
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(206): View more from Washington

Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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(206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i

Replies (4) Good night (1262) Bad night (534)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

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(307): While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career. http://tfl.nu/fdba

Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (335)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

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(267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz

Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (419)
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(940): View more from Texas

Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..

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(940): Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku.. http://tfl.nu/zv8o

Replies (1) Good night (1023) Bad night (372)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything

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(+44): Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls (+44): On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything http://tfl.nu/w86s

Replies (1) Good night (1084) Bad night (447)

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