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I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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