Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.

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  (630): I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore. http://tfl.nu/o0ab
  Replies (25) Good night (1401) Bad night (2991)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

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  (847): I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today http://tfl.nu/iq2n
  Replies (5) Good night (3118) Bad night (588)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.

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  (719): I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate. http://tfl.nu/7wm8
  Replies (7) Good night (1116) Bad night (2887)
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  (818): View more from California

  And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.

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  (818): And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez. http://tfl.nu/551w
  Replies (4) Good night (3281) Bad night (730)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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  (651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (863) Bad night (4208)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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  (509): I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics http://tfl.nu/1cmu
  Replies (13) Good night (4820) Bad night (831)
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  (209): View more from California

  Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."

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  (209): Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me." http://tfl.nu/89qv
  Replies (14) Good night (1834) Bad night (4882)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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  (917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo
  Replies (44) Good night (1926) Bad night (9012)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship

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  (404): you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship http://tfl.nu/msif
  Replies (7) Good night (3919) Bad night (1004)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...

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  (423): The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while... http://tfl.nu/ie7g
  Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (395)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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  (615): I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause. http://tfl.nu/2yit
  Replies (8) Good night (1682) Bad night (893)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".

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  (301): He said it. He actually said "yes it's in". http://tfl.nu/w699
  Replies (7) Good night (579) Bad night (2119)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

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  (850): I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute. http://tfl.nu/idmm
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (301)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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  (504): There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here. http://tfl.nu/vhqg
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (200)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...

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  (608): I just used crown royal bags as pot holders... http://tfl.nu/4auc
  Replies (6) Good night (542) Bad night (244)

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