Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
