i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize