Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
