and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
