i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
