he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
