I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
