At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
