Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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