I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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