I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
